Seen, Heard, and Honored: Female Veterans Deserve More Than Being Forgotten
- Ash A Milton
- Nov 11
- 4 min read
When I was a child—probably until I was about five years old—I genuinely believed that Veterans Day was created to honor my mom and her twin brother, my Uncle Richard. Uncle Richard was a Marine who served in Vietnam, and in my young mind, it made perfect sense that a day this important would be dedicated to someone as significant as him.
But as I grew older, I began to realize something troubling: the way people talked about veterans, the images they conjured, the stories they told—they rarely included women.
Fast forward to my own generation, and it was both my sister and I who chose to serve. We understood that women didn't need to stay home and keep the hearth warm - we had the ability to serve on our own. Sacrifice doesn't have a gender. And the uniform should afford respect and recognition to everyone who wears it.
Yet here we are, still fighting to be seen.
Today, as we honor Veterans Day, I want to talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention: the experience of female veterans, and the troubling reality that too many of them face—being forgotten once they take off the uniform.
The Invisible Service Members
Women comprise approximately 11% of the veteran population and is expected to grow to approximately 17% to 18% by 2043, yet their service and sacrifices often fade from public consciousness the moment they transition to civilian life. The uniform, it seems, provided a visibility that disappears along with it.
Female veterans face unique challenges:
Being questioned about their service - "Were you really in the military?" or "Oh, is this for your husband?" are questions male veterans rarely encounter
Lack of recognition - Many people still picture veterans as exclusively male, making female veterans invisible in their own communities
Healthcare gaps - VA services have historically been designed primarily for men, leaving female veterans underserved
Isolation - Finding veteran communities that understand the specific challenges women face in and after service can be difficult
Employment barriers - Female veterans face both gender discrimination and the challenge of translating military experience in a civilian job market that may not recognize their skills
During the recent government shutdown, these challenges have only intensified. For female veterans waiting on benefits, supporting families, or navigating an already complex system, the added stress compounds existing barriers.
Breaking the Silence
Female veterans served with the same dedication, faced the same dangers, and made the same sacrifices as their male counterparts. Yet their stories are often untold, their contributions unacknowledged, and their struggles unaddressed.
This needs to change.
We need to:
Recognize female veterans publicly and consistently - In our communities, our workplaces, and our conversations
Create inclusive spaces - Veteran organizations and services must actively welcome and serve women veterans
Challenge assumptions - When we think "veteran," we must envision the full diversity of those who served
Listen to their stories - Female veterans have unique perspectives that enrich our understanding of service and sacrifice
Advocate for better support - Healthcare, benefits, and services must meet the specific needs of women who served
The Power of Representation
Representation matters. When female veterans see themselves reflected in veteran communities, media, and leadership, it sends a powerful message: You belong. Your service matters. You are not forgotten.
If you're a female veteran reading this: Your service was real. Your sacrifices were significant. Your transition challenges are valid. And you are not alone, even when it feels that way.
Resources and Connection
In the spirit of honoring all who served, my books are available for free Kindle download on November 11 and 12. Published through Free Agent Press, a veteran-owned business, these works draw on military service and leadership lessons that apply to all veterans navigating life after the uniform.
The Project Manager: Life is a Project (with foreword by James Woosley an Air Force Veteran) offers insights on resilience and life transitions.
The Consummate Communicator: Character Traits of True Professionals is based on the teachings of Retired Admiral James Stavridis, under whom I served as an Army Civilian at US European Command. Admiral Stavridis, NATO's former Supreme Allied Commander and author of works including The Leader's Bookshelf and Sailing True North, also wrote the foreword.
Decoding History: The Invisible Thread (published under the pen name Ash A. Milton) is speculative fiction set in 2055, exploring themes of connection and legacy—particularly resonant for those whose service risks being forgotten. The novel imagines a future where women are once again silenced and forced out of public space, a stark reminder that progress is never guaranteed and that the fight for recognition and equality requires constant vigilance. For female veterans who have already experienced invisibility after service, this cautionary tale hits especially close to home.
Resources for Female Veterans
Female veterans need support on multiple levels, and there are resources available:
For Small Business Support:
The SBA (Small Business Administration) has programs specifically designed for veterans, including women-owned business initiatives
For Networking and Community:
Women Veterans Network - Connect with fellow female veterans
Service Women's Action Network (SWAN) - Advocacy and support for women veterans
For Crisis Support:
Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988, then press 1, or text 838255
Military OneSource: 1-800-342-9647
Women Veterans Call Center: 1-855-829-6636
Moving Forward Together
Veterans Day isn't just about looking back at what we did in service. It's about looking forward to how we continue to serve—our families, our communities, and each other. And it's about ensuring that all veterans are seen, heard, and honored.
Female veterans are a diverse and essential part of our population. We must honor those who have served by ensuring they are never forgotten once the uniform comes off.
To female veterans: Your service matters. Your story matters. You matter.
To everyone else: Look around your community. Female veterans are there—neighbors, coworkers, friends. See them. Thank them. Support them.
And most importantly: Don't let them be forgotten.
***Some links are affiliate links and may provide the author a few pennies***
*Photos courtesy of Wix and BookBrush
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