Ash A Milton

**🗞️ MONDAY MADNESS | Ash A. Milton Universe** **BREAKING: U.S. GOVERNMENT CLARIFIES WHICH FOREIGN THREATS ARE ACTUALLY THREATENING** *WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a pair of landmark policy developments this week, the United States government has finally provided clarity on the national security landscape, confirming which entities pose an existential threat to the American way of life and which do not.* *A childfree single woman drinking wine on her deck while reading a book about fierce females:...

(SATIRE WARNING — Though We Understand If You Can't Tell Anymore) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning display of strategic vision, Secretary of State Marco Rubio announced this week that the United States has successfully completed Phase One of Operation Epic Fury — defined, retroactively, as the phase in which everything gets much worse before the administration quietly reframes the mission as wanting things to go back to the way they were before the mission started. "We have achieved...

How Donald Trump Is Dismantling NATO One Tantrum at a Time — and Why the Constitution Has Something to Say About It NATO Source: www.carthage.edu "The first and only time Article 5 has ever been invoked in NATO's seventy-seven year history was for the United States of America. The date was September 12, 2001." Read that again. Less than twenty-four hours after the towers fell, after the Pentagon burned, after a field in Pennsylvania became a grave — the North Atlantic Treaty Organization...